Here's how this weekend's racing could'a, should'a, and would'a turned out if it hadn't'a turned out the way it did:
Lots of folks started their quest for the VA State BAR at the Dismal Dash 40K Time Trial presented by All About Bikes Racing...
- Mr. Cartwheels in Left Field has a great picture of himself looking very fast. It's a shame he enjoyed an asthma shooter with a "tingly inner thigh thing" chaser. Still, not a bad start and, like I said, he looks really fast!
- If you can reach out to NooB Bike Racing, he needs some help with his seriously sadistic streak. He had a mechanically shortened 40K effort and says that "I wanted to be in pain. I wish I was." Don't they have support groups for guys like this? Either way, he vows to "make people cry" at Vint Hill next week.
- You want to know who's having fun? The Vanderkittens are having fun. You can tell from the photos that TT'ing is just their excuse for a party on bikes (even though their results say they self-medicated on a world of hurt to go so fast!). Classy ladies they are; they give a nice shout out to the promoters.
- The NeedToBike upgraded his racing license to Cat 4 and his bike with some Cat 4.5 clip-on bars that didn't clip-on as well as planned. Still, his time improved and he looks ever forward.
- When a TT report includes the phrase "fits of coughing with scattered vomiting," you know it's a case of "better you than me." And that's only part of the Celerity Cycling p/b Fitness Together story!
Other folks hit the Wilmington Training Series for some early season, wet weather criterium action but just haven't posted reports yet. Still, we get at least one...
- And Fat Marc Vanderbacon gives us all he's got: Doogie Howser, food-porn, photo-praise of cycling officials, and a revelation that he may/may not be the stalker at the University of Delaware. Oh yeah, he also raced and sprinted for his own private finish line (just a bit short of the actual finish line).
Know of any more great race reports from last weekend? Send them to me here.
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Gus Grissom races for Team GamJams Racing, teaches Greek and Latin at DeMatha Catholic High School, and writes a dissertation in his spare time. He compiles this column strictly for fortune and glory.
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