GamJams.net: Where Mid-Atlantic bike racers roll: List Lurker: 07-30-10

While you were busy hitting the delete key, I was busy living life as a lonely list lurker. Here's what you missed on the regional list-serves this week...

Across the Virginia Cycling Association, folks were posting a few interesting items:

I know some teams claim a long and distinguished lineage, but here's the real deal Virginia cycling. Tom Houff is doing research for a Bryan Park Centennial celebration and he's digging through the archives of the Library of Congress. You will be fascinated to find out who's really the oldest team in these parts. Read the article and note that they are expecting 2,500 riders for a Thursday night club ride. 2,500! Even Tim Rugg, affectionately known to his 'mates as "Ruggy Bear," would call that a good turnout. (even if he'd rather race Greenbelt...)
Think you're fast? Prove it. The Fiorucci Virginia State Senior TT will be held in Stony Creek, VA on 22 August. Cycor Cycling promises that practically enveryone will take home some great schwag and, if that's not enough, it's all part of the GamJams Cat 3 Cup p/b Mountain Khakis. So there's pants-schwag, "panschwag," on the line. Go fast; get pants. Your buddies will thank you.
The VCA finally proved that they were just as susceptible to weird postings as their neighbors in MABRA as both list serves got completely focused on a picture of some tri-guy who had like 23 Gu gels taped to his toptube. Folks just couldn't resist this one and everyone had to chime in with "this one time, at bike camp, I saw some guy tape 30 gels to his toptube and then I stuck a flute up my seatpost... But, honestly, I can top them all (and that's what it's really all about, no?). I once saw a guy whose bike was actually made of Resin-hardened Gu. It tasted fine, but wasn't exactly "laterally stiff and vertically compliant..." There, I win. Now we can move on.

In other news, it was business as usual for the "type first, type hard, show no mercy" MABRA-kai's...

Lance Anderson is giving away carbon fiber frames (and Ruggle-buddy is asking "WTF? Where is everyone?"). Sure they are broken, unrideable and don't come with anything on them (other than the cracks). But, hey, they're free! And that's a pretty good price for carbon fiber! Hit him off-list for details on the free, pre-broken stuff....
Think you're fast on one gear? Prove it. The MABRA Track Championships are being held up in Trexlertown PA on 29 August. There are all sorts of events that I don't understand but they will take a break for lunch. So it's probably going to be fun. Take your fixie down from the rafters and go show everyone how fast your legs can turn over. We need to be careful with this. If attendance is low, Harley's own Ruggle-Muffin will call you out (and Hutch Buddy will help you register)!
The unbelievably complicated BAR Standings have been updated. I know. They are barely comprehensible. But BAR Administrator, Dave Harrell, has promised to make them easier to review once he's finally over this lazy streak he's been on lately. I mean, come on, only one update per week? Sometimes folks race twice! Why are you not including all the points our little Ruggy Puff is amassing in those tiny fields at Greenbelt?
The first rule of The Haynes's Point Noon Ride is that you don't talk about Hains Point. Apparently that doesn't apply to videotaping the absolute madness that is "The Noon Ride." Seriously, watch this video and make your own commentary in a British accent. Say things like "spot of bother" and "elastic is snapping" and you will feel cooler than a purple, sleeveless jersey. It'll be 7:42 of the best time you'll enjoy today. The soundtrack alone is worth it. Man, this almost makes me want to ride such a dynamic course.
The big topic of the week, of course, was Jeff Travis' Greenbelt results. First, there was a little funny from Pete "My Ancestors Raced Bikes" Custer. Then there was a little love and hate thing between Tony Abate and the Ruggy Bear. In the end, as usual, nothing was decided other than stuff like this makes me "all tingly inside."
For the record, FUD: Female Urination Device. Who knew they needed it but apparently this is something that helps both Abate and Ruggy Bear go tinkle standing up...

Got any comments, interpretations, re-interpretations, or mis-interprations? Send them to me; I've got nothing better to do than to sit in my darkened room and live vicariously as a list-lurker...

Gus Grissom races for Team GamJams Racing, teaches Greek and Latin at DeMatha Catholic High School, and writes a dissertation in his spare time. He compiles this column strictly for fortune and glory.