GamJams.net: Where Mid-Atlantic bike racers roll: List Lurker: 09-03-10

While you were busy hitting the delete key, I was busy living vicariously as a lonely list lurker. Here's what you missed on the regional cycling list-serves...

Across the Virginia Cycling Association, the road season was winding down and folks' typing fingers were entering a low-volume transition period (all of which was very, very SFW):

Virginia BAR Administrator, Bill Henderson, has been hard at work figuring out who's faster than whom more often than not. He's got the BAR Updated through the State TT Championships by now and wants you to know there only one BAR race left! Time to start really trying!
Did I say "only one BAR event left?" Sure did. The Hampton Bay Days Criterium State Age Grade Championship is going to compete with Hurricane Earl for top billing in Hampton VA this weekend. My money's on the criterium because we all know how the song goes: Earl's gotta die. (Okay, maybe you don't that song. But just because I do doesn't make me less of a man. I'm secure.)

MABRA was also eerily quiet (though much less SFW) as folks made the transition from road riding to 'cross racing and from posting pointless comments to posting non-cycing related videos:

Ruggy Bear wanted to know what everyone thought about the season. He cares about your fondest memory and greatest regret. Unfortunately, only his Lil'RingerBuddy cared enough to send the very least.
VDOT upgraded Lawyers Road in Reston with a bike lane about a year ago. Now they are putting together a scientific study of the effects on traffic patterns and they want your feedback. Of course, since it's a government agency with millions of your tax dollars, they use nothing but the best research methodology. That's why they set up this high-tech Survey Monkey questionnaire. So, if you have the technical expertise and the sort of Top Secret clearance required for such activity, touch the monkey, answer the questions, and look forward to even more cutting edge technology from the same folks who brought you "the Mixing Bowl."
Speaking of touching the monkey, I have to mention that someone was a very bad bicyclist this week and gave bored MABRA'inians a naughty video to download and enjoy be aghast at. Now I know you would never click on anything that said "Megan Fox Sex Tape." Heck, you don't like clicking on this site and it's totally safe! But since you're still dying to know what all the fuss is about, I did download a cleaned up version of the video and you can feel good about checking it out. Seriously, this is SFW (even though the quantity / quality of MABRA postings indicates that "work" is very relative word for many of us.)
In response to that naughty video (PSFW), the moderators of the list took the phrase "those responsible have been sacked" very seriously and are looking for new list-serve moderators. If you are one of those lonely types who gets the slobbery jitters when you hear "you've got mail," drop the moderators a line and say "I'm tired of lurking! Let me run the show!" Obviously I don't know anyone who lives for this stuff; that would be pathetic. But still, someone out there probably reads all of this junk, right? Beuler? Beuler?
The Special Olympics State Cycling Championship is being held on September 25th in Sykesville MD. They need some volunteers to help out with all sorts of things. If you can help (or if you are in need of some community service hours, juniors or bad-boy seniors!), contact Tracy Lea.
The MABRA BAR is also nearing completion. It's updated (of course) but you'll want to get one more bit of fast out of your legs at next week's Turkey Day event if you want to make a last minute surge for the line.
Oh, and by the way... Fondest memory? Greatest regret, Ruggy Bear? Did you just buy a "random conversation starter kit" or something? Seriously, it takes more than that to bait the MABRA bear. This district is filled with Cat 1 In-Box Stuffers; reminiscing is so bush league...

Got any comments, interpretations, re-interpretations, or mis-interprations? Send them to me; I've got nothing better to do than to sit in my darkened room and live vicariously as a list-lurker...

Gus Grissom races for Team GamJams Racing, teaches Greek and Latin at DeMatha Catholic High School, and writes a dissertation in his spare time. He compiles this column strictly for fortune and glory.